A Loss of Senses
by The-Missing-Paige
Summary: A small collection of unrelated RoyEd fics. In each one, Edward has the unfortunate experience of losing one of his five senses: smell, sight, taste, touch, and hearing.
1. Smell

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullemtal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, or any related characters.**

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><p><strong>Smell<strong>

It was a fairly rare occurrence for Edward to call Roy while he was at work. Even though they were in a relationship, the boy _knew_ he was constantly flooded with paperwork, not to mention having to dish out assignments and occasionally go on one of his own. As such, Ed only ever called in an emergency.

So, when Roy answered the phone to hear a hysterical blonde on the other line, he was understandably worried.

"Ed? Ed, what's wrong?" he asked amid a series of alarmingly loud, shallow breaths.

"What the hell did I do to you!?" the boy half-wailed, half-screamed, evidently unsure whether to be angry or upset over whatever situation he was currently in.

"I don't understand…"

"Well, I must have done _something_ to you to make you so mad as to do…this! Fucking hell, can't we just have an argument like normal? I don't even know what exactly you _did_! Please, look, I'm sorry, just—fix it!" Edward demanded, his breathing becoming more labored. Roy noticed that he also sounded stuffy, his voice just a little off.

But he didn't know what Ed was talking about. He wasn't angry at the blonde at all—actually, he had been feeling especially romantic lately and had just sent over some flowers—tulips, they were in season—that morning. "Ed, listen, calm down. You're going to have to explain to me what it is I did to you, because I don't know what you're talking—"

"The _flowers_!" the boy yelled. "That's so…_sneaky_, Roy, why would you do that?"

What? What was wrong with surprising your boyfriend by having a bouquet delivered to the house? Sure, Edward could be a little naïve when it came to relationships, but even he had to realize that was pretty normal…

Unless he was upset, thinking he had been treated like a girl? Or maybe the tulips were messed up, broken by some idiot delivery boy, and Ed thought he had done that on purpose… "What's wrong with the flowers?" Roy asked slowly.

"I dunno! You—you did _something_ to them! All I did was _sniff_ them and now I can hardly breathe, my nose hurts, I can't smell anything…you didn't _poison _them, did you? What could I have done to make you that fucking mad!? I know I can be an ass, but…" The blonde was hyperventilating at this point, and Roy thought he heard some tears. That was even more alarming; Edward hardly ever cried. He must be really upset to actually _cry_ about it…

Still, if he honestly thought that Roy had _poisoned_ him…well, that was a pretty good reason to be distressed.

Roy rested his head in his hand. "Ed, I didn't do anything to the flowers. You know I would never hurt you like that, no matter how mad you make me."

"Then why am I _dying_ over here!?" the boy wailed.

Really? How could someone this smart—someone who was once the youngest State Alchemist in the history of Amestris—not realize what was going on? "Edward, are you seriously telling me you can't think of any other explanation for what's going on?"

There was silence (aside from a heavy rasping) on the other end of the line for some time. Eventually, Roy decided to just tell him. "Allergies, Ed! I didn't know, of course—I wouldn't have sent you tulips if I knew they would do this to you, I would have stuck with roses, but I was just trying to spice it up. Really, I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but why would you think I'd hurt you like that on purpose!?"

Edward was quiet still. "Oh," he said finally, voice small. "I…I don't know. Allergies? Really? That just seems so…trivial, I guess. I've heard about people being allergic, but I didn't know it would be this bad. I just assumed it was something else, and what else could it be unless you were mad with me…?"

Roy would have laughed at the absurdity, had the situation not been so awkwardly serious. "You are the most melodramatic person I know. Only you would suspect _sabotage_ over _allergies_. And to think I'd do that! You really believe I'd hurt you?"

"No," the boy murmured. The quiet tone made his voice all the more distorted, thick. "Which is why I was so upset. I didn't know why you'd do that…" He sighed. "Okay, I guess I'm kind of an idiot."

Smiling now, Roy shook his head, though the blonde couldn't see him. If it was anyone but Ed, he'd be offended. But this was the boy who exploded over comments about his height, and who was terrified by milk. Of course he would think something ridiculous like this. "But you're _my_ idiot. You should go see a doctor and get some medicine. I'd like you breathing when I come home tonight, okay?"

It was a sign of Edward's embarrassment that he didn't rise to the tiny insult. "Yeah, okay. I'm sorry about interrupting you for something so stupid…" He paused, sighed again.

"It's okay, Ed. I wasn't that busy anyway." A total lie, but the boy was beating himself up now, and Roy didn't want him to be all depressed. He briefly considered how much work it was dating the blonde—but it was definitely worth it.

"I love you," Edward responded. He probably could tell Roy was lying; though he had quit the military after the whole thing with Father was resolved, Ed had been around long enough to know that Roy was _always_ busy.

"I love you too." Roy hung up the phone, and opened a small drawer in his desk, pulling out a paper that looked just like the rest. But this one was important.

At the top of the paper, in heavy letters, were the words: "THINGS TO NEVER DO." And underneath was a rather long list, each entry handwritten after some event or another. Roy had started this little list shortly after he began dating Edward. As it so happened, each and every item involved the blonde.

_1) Make short jokes (when you want to get laid later, otherwise it's still hilarious)_

_2) Sneak milk into his food—he can tell_

_3) Make jokes about our sex life to him when other people are around_

_4) Ask him about his ex, that Winry girl_

It went on and on, just little reminders of things to avoid if he wanted to keep Ed around. And now Roy added another number, this one somewhat more important than the others.

_30) DO NOT buy him tulips_

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><p><strong>Okay, so, some of these will be funny (like this one-I thought it was funny at least ;A;) and some will be more serious...<strong>

**I have an idea for sight, but for the rest I'm not sure, feel free to give me suggestions :) And as always, let me know what you think:**

**Also: I have a poll on my profile, it would be a great help if you would go take it! Thanks!**


	2. Sight

**Remember, this fic is unrelated to the previous one (Smell). Just a reminder to avoid confusion.**

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><p><strong>Sight<strong>

Edward had seen some bad things in his time, even though he was only sixteen. His failed transmutation of his mother came to mind, along with that horrible thing with Shou Tucker and what he did to poor little Nina. So what he was seeing then, while definitely up there—possibly the _worst_ thing he had ever seen—should be disturbing him, yes, but it shouldn't be…

Well, what it was.

Before him was a mother and her children. This could have been a very happy picture, but the children were all tied up and inside a transmutation circle. The mother was walking around them, singing a lullaby—a fucking _lullaby_ of all things—and then picking them out, one by one, to transmute. Their tiny screams filled the air, but Ed couldn't move.

He just couldn't. He was watching their skin boil, watching them mutate into hideous beings, but he couldn't manage to move. Edward was paralyzed, eyes wide and staring.

This…this was the worst.

He began to sway, even as he saw Alphonse rush in to stop the woman. He couldn't think—his head hurt. Edward registered the black creeping at the edges of his vision; he was going to pass out.

Perhaps it was just that he could only take so much. After seeing all he had, Ed just couldn't stand any more, and he finally snapped.

Whatever the reason, Edward found himself careening downward, unable to stop the encroaching darkness.

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><p>When Ed woke up, everything was black. He opened his eyes…nothing. Was there a bandage over his face? Edward brought his hand up to check—<p>

"Ow!" he muttered, after poking himself in the eye. Then the realization hit.

His eyes were open…there wasn't a bandage covering them…

Ed couldn't see.

He'd never been afraid of the dark, but this…this was terrifying. He couldn't seem to control his breathing, which was becoming more labored by the minute. Hell, Edward didn't even know where he _was_—was anyone with him?

"Al?" he called out. No one answered, but…Ed didn't know that he was safe; what if someone was watching him, waiting? What if he was a prisoner? That was ridiculous; he'd seen Al taking that crazy woman out as he passed out, and who else would have captured him, especially with his brother around? No. It wasn't possible.

But still, with the loss of his sight, he couldn't assuage that tiny pinprick of fear. Edward couldn't be a hundred percent sure nothing was amiss around him.

Taking a deep breath, Ed began to take inventory of what he did know. He felt fine, aside from being fucking _blind_. So he wasn't hurt. He was sitting on a bed, it felt like, and that was good. Immediately his swung his legs to the side, over the edge. No, he couldn't see, but he could use the wall, see if he could find his way out of wherever he was and find a person.

Anyone would do, at this point, just so Edward could figure out his situation.

However, walking was a lot more nerve-wracking when you couldn't tell where you were going. Ed took ginger steps, hands out in front of him to both keep his balance and test where he was going. Every squeak of the floor made him nervous.

And then a doorknob turned—amazing how he could hear even that now—and startled Edward so bad he tripped on…well, _something_ or other and fell to the ground with a crash and a shout.

"Ed!"

The voice froze him. "C-Colonel?"

"What are you _doing_!?" Yes, that was Roy alright. It had been hard to tell—Edward couldn't remember the last time the man had called him by his first name. He felt hands grab under his arms and stiffened, before he realized Roy was just helping him back up. Ed huffed as he was placed back on the bed.

"I was _trying_ to find someone. I wake up and _can't fucking see_ and no one was here to explain…" Edward hated the desperate tone his voice took on, but he just couldn't help it.

"Ed," Roy sighed, "why would you think walking around is a good idea?"

"What else was I supposed to do?" he shouted. "I—I don't know _anything_. Where I am, what happened, who's here—I had to do something!"

Again, he felt a hand on his arm, this time resting on his shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry no one was in here, but you're going to get hurt. To answer your questions, you're at the hospital. Al's here, he's just…he had to step out. As for what happened…if you want me to go get the doctor, he'd definitely be better at explaining this than me."

Something about these words made Edward incredibly nervous. Perhaps it was the frighteningly gentle tone Roy had, something he'd never heard before. Regardless, Ed nodded.

He couldn't seem to preoccupy himself as he waited. He couldn't look at anything, obviously, and without that…Edward was a little lost. It was odd, how okay he was with this; but then again, it probably just hadn't really sunk in yet.

Moments later, two pairs of footsteps walked through the door. The doctor spoke rather loudly, which was irritating, though Ed supposed this was meant to be so he knew where to look. That was a new thought—he might be facing the wrong way and not even know it.

"Mr. Edward, you had a question?"

And apparently Roy couldn't even brief people. "Yeah," he answered. "What the hell _happened_? I know I passed out, but—my brother was taking care of everything, how the fuck did I wind up _blind_?"

Though he couldn't see, he could picture the doctor shuffling in the awkward silence that followed his question. Ed coughed impatiently.

"Well…to be perfectly honest with you, nothing happened," the man finally answered.

But that wasn't any help at all. "Doc, I don't mean to be an ass, but you're obviously drunk or something. People don't stop seeing for no reason."

"Mr. Edward, have you ever heard of a psychosomatic illness?" the doctor asked, ignoring his rude comment.

"Psycho-what?"

"I guess not. A psychosomatic illness is an illness that involves both the body and mind. In your case, I believe you are suffering from a somatoform disorder—more specifically, conversion disorder. Because of something you experienced, the trauma and stress of the situation caused your brain to shut down the ability to see."

Roy interrupted at this point. "I'm sorry, Ed. It's my fault for sending you on that mission. You saw something your subconscious probably didn't want to see, and so now you can't see at all."

Edward couldn't seem to move as the doctor continued. "Exactly. Now, there are treatments for stress we can give you, but…I'm afraid that until you're ready, I can't just magically make you see again."

So that was it? Ed couldn't see because…because of how horrible that woman's actions had been. It made sense, in a way—seeing those poor kids paralyzed him, made him want to vomit. Now he was frozen once more, unable to comprehend how he was supposed to fix this. Only he could get rid of his blindness, but…were stress treatments really the best he could hope for as help?

"Can…can I have a minute?" Edward croaked. "I—I need to absorb this."

"Of course," the doctor answered, exiting. But Ed only heard the one set of footsteps, and—just faintly—he thought he could hear breathing. Roy's breathing.

Moments later, he felt the bed he was sitting on lower as the man sat beside him. Edward found this painfully uncomfortable; he couldn't see, just _feel_ Roy next to him. It was a disquieting sensation, made even more so when the man wrapped his arms around Ed.

He squirmed. "Okay, who the fuck are you!? You're not the Colonel—no way he would do this, be this fucking _touchy_—"

"Actually, Ed, it is me."

But Edward couldn't believe that. Roy was a hard ass, he couldn't imagine the man hugging anyone, let alone him. Ed. No, no way. He began to panic, realizing that he had no way to know if the people talking to him were who they said they were—what if they were just mimicking the voices he knew…? His breathing became more labored and finally, finally the man beside him let go.

"Ed, calm down. Please. Here—" The man lifted one of Edward's hands, placing it on his cheek. "Go on, feel my face."

Slowly, Ed did so, moving his hand across the man's face, over his nose. He inched his fingers upwards, feeling eyes close under his light touch, and all the way up to the hair. Then back down, examining through touch the man's chin, and—even more hesitantly now—his lips…the man sighed contentedly as he did this, and Ed pulled his hand back, feeling more than a little awkward.

It sure _felt_ like Roy; the features all seemed to have the right shape, as far as Edward could tell, but… "What if you're a shape shifter or something?"

He heard a sigh. "I'm going to use my alchemy—I know you can't see, but you'll be able to hear the fire, okay?" Ed nodded, and exactly as promised, he heard a snap, then the soft wooshing, crackling sound of fire.

The face, the voice, the alchemy… "Okay," Edward muttered, and as soon as the word was out of his mouth _again_ there was that arm around his shoulder. "So I'm convinced you're the Colonel. But still, the hell are you hugging me for?"

"Because I want to," the man answered casually.

Ed didn't know how to respond to this. Why would _Roy_ want to hug _him_…?

"Ed? I know you can't see, but turn towards me."

Unsure, Edward did as he was told—even if he hadn't, the man probably would have forced him to, so why make it harder that it should be? Ed wasn't in the mood for those kinds of shenanigans right now.

"I'm sorry about what happened to you," Roy murmured. "But I have to be honest, a little bit of me is glad you can't see right now."

"Why?" Edward asked, jerking backwards. A hand was brought up swiftly, pulling him in close again, and Ed felt breath on his face.

"Because," the man answered, "it's given me the chance to do something I've wanted to do for a long time."

And with that, Roy kissed him.

Ed's body went into lockdown. His brain, already overloaded simply couldn't comprehend what was happening. Warm lips, moving slowly, Roy—the two things seemed entirely disconnected, except they weren't.

Why, why would Roy kiss him?

As soon as it began, it was over, and Edward found another question popping into his head. _Why hadn't he stopped it_?

The man stood up, pressing another kiss to Ed's head. Still stunned, he couldn't seem to say anything. "I'll go get your brother. I'm sure you'll want to talk to him," Roy whispered, walking out the door.

Edward couldn't manage a word, couldn't even _move_, until several minutes later when Al rushed in and broke the spell.

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><p><strong>Do we want a second part to Sight, or do we like it cut off like this? Let me know in the reviews, please!<strong>


	3. Sight (Part 2)

**Sight (Part 2)**

Edward curled up on his bed as Al finally left, tongue flicking out to run across his lower lip. In a way, he felt bad; he _had_ ushered his brother out quite quickly, but he needed time to think. By himself.

Ed would have paid, in that moment, to be able to see his expression; it was unnerving, feeling all these tumultuous emotions and not seeing how they affected his face.

Roy…had kissed him. Not only that, but the man had said he had wanted to do that for a long time. How long was a long time? Was that creepy, or sweet?

Allowing his head to come to a rest on his knees, Edward sighed. He couldn't handle all of this. He was blinded now, by his own mind, and now Roy had brought up all this confusion. How was Ed even supposed to begin asking the most important question: how did he feel about what had happened?

Because he certainly hadn't tried to stop it.

Almost groaning aloud, Edward pulled his head back up. The worst part was, he couldn't do anything about it but wait. Roy would come back…right?

Then again, who had told him to stay put? The doctor? No. Roy. The same man who then kissed him, and walked out. Did he really have to listen to orders from someone so…flaky?

Ed grinned, and uncurled his legs, swinging them unseeingly over the side of his bed for the second time that day. How hard could it be to get to the hall? And from there, he'd eventually bump into _someone_, who could direct him to Roy. Simple.

Edward stuck to the wall, one hand on it and the other stretched out in front of him. He let out a little sound of victory when he successfully navigated around a table instead of running into it, and from there it was a short jaunt (and one trip, actually, over a loose tile…or at least, that's what he thought it was) to the door.

And then came the hallway. Ed whipped his head back and forth (yeah, that did a lot), trying to decide which direction he should take. Whatever—either one would work.

To his great surprise, though he heard plenty of footsteps, he didn't run into anyone. Of course not—they could all see Edward coming. What a strange thought. Eventually, though, a hand gripped his arm.

"Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing?"

Oh, Ed could just picture this woman. The kind of person who shouldn't have become a nurse, testy and impatient, and her grip was way too tight. And that tone—not the friendliest. "Trying to find someone. And unless you know where Colonel Roy Mustang is, you can let go of my arm now."

"You can't see, can you, sir?"

Edward only sighed, knowing where this was going. "No," he answered, jerking away from the woman.

"Then you can't be wandering—"

"I'll stop wandering when I find him!" Ed interrupted, continuing onward. There was a doorway on the left—another hallway, maybe—

"Sir!" He felt the nurse grasping at his shirt, but it was too late. Edward gasped, then shouted as he tumbled down a (thankfully) short flight of stairs.

"Oww…" he moaned.

"Ed?"

Oh, _now_ Roy had to be all fucking convenient and right in front of him. "You son of a _bitch_," Edward muttered.

"What the hell are you _doing_?" the man asked, picking him up. Ed's heart stuttered a bit, wondering if Roy was glad to be this close again.

"Looking for you! You didn't seriously expect me to just stay put after you—you _kiss_ me and then run off like that, did you?"

Oh, it _killed_ him in that moment to not be able to see Roy's face in response to his challenge. Scowling slightly, he rubbed his hands on his aching bum.

Finally, he heard a sigh. "Look, let's get you back to your room, then we can talk." Suddenly, Edward was airborne—had Roy just _picked him up_?

Hands settling into place under his back and knees confirmed it. "Put me down!" Ed yelled, twisting about and trying to ignore a maddening blush that was growing on his face. "What the fuck!?"

"Calm down!" the man demanded. "It's easier than trying to guide you back up the stairs, and if you keep struggling like that I'm going to drop you!"

True. But Edward decided to use that moment as a test of sorts. "You wouldn't actually drop me." If Roy would, then…the kiss was a fluke, or something to that effect. If not…

Ed could actually feel the heat emanating from the man's face as he answered, and cheered a little on the inside (though his face was probably also reddening). "No, you're right, I wouldn't."

Heart hammering, Edward found himself unable to speak until he was laid—gently, he might add—onto his hospital bed. After a moment, he felt Roy sit down next to him. Silence.

"Well?" Ed prompted.

"I wanted to kiss you," Roy stated simply, though Edward could sense the struggle it took to admit that.

"Why?" he whispered, curling up again. Not being able to see, feeling like Roy was watching him…it made Ed feel so _vulnerable_.

"Because…" the man seemed to be searching for words. "I _admire_ you. You're so strong, so confident, so _snarky_…and I'm not going to pretend I don't find you attractive. The thought of kissing you had crossed my mind before, but seeing you so off guard—I couldn't help myself."

Edward's face was _flaming_ as he absorbed this. "That's so unfair," he finally murmured. "That you'd only do that when I'm all disarmed like that. That you couldn't do it when I'm—when I'm at least paying attention so I can react right…"

"Oh? And how would you react, given the chance?" There was a teasing, curious quality to the man's voice.

"I don't know."

A sudden shift in the bed, and Roy's hand was on his knee, breath fanning out across Edward's face. "Can I try again, then?"

Oh. _Oh_. Breath hitching just slightly, Ed nodded hesitantly.

And then those warm lips were back on his own.

It was better, knowing it was coming. Slowly, Edward allowed his own mouth to move, opening slightly. He jumped a little when he felt Roy's tongue slip past his lips, but ended up whimpering at the feeling.

The man pushed harder this time, cupping Ed's cheek and—almost against his will—Edward felt his hands creep up to tangle in Roy's hair…

And then it was over. The man backed off, but not so far that Edward couldn't feel his panting breaths. "Well?" he asked, voice husky.

Ed shivered. Well? He didn't know. Yes, he enjoyed it, but…it felt so _wrong_ to like what had just happened. This was Roy, this was his superior, this…this was a man with a warm mouth and hands that felt so good on his face… "I wish I could see you right now," he whispered as an answer.

"And why is that?" Roy asked, scooting up to wrap an arm around Edward.

A deep breath. "Because…because I think I liked it."

Ed was pulled down until his head rested against Roy's chest. He hummed softly as the man spoke. "You'll see eventually." Roy planted a light kiss on his head. "Maybe that will be what makes you regain your sight—the desire to see me."

Edward poked Roy, the egotistical ass, but he was smiling. "Yeah…maybe."

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><p><strong>Hope you like the continuation :) Shoutout to Tsumi Tsukiko for calling Roy an "opportunistic bastard" in the reviews, that cracked me up. <strong>


	4. Taste

**Taste**

Edward rifled through Roy's medicine cabinet with one hand, wincing ever once in a while. The other hand he kept securely in place on his cheek, pressing an ice pack to his face perhaps a little harder than necessary. But his tooth _hurt_, damn it! Now where was that gel shit…?

"Aha!" Triumphantly, Ed removed his free hand from the cabinet, clutching a little tube of Orajel. His victorious grin faded when he saw how squished and mangled the packet was. He'd be lucky if there was any left.

A throb in his mouth had him squeezing his eyes shut. Well, he'd have to try to get something out of the tube. A little numbness sounded really good just about then.

Edward placed his ice pack down on the edge of the sink and squeezed on the tube, hard with both hands. Orajel shot out, dribbling onto his clenched fists. "Ew…" The gel was oddly runny—was it supposed to be that way?

Nevertheless, it would have to work. He needed the relief. After a moment's deliberation, he went about scooping it all up. This was messier than Ed had planned for. Just then, a knock on the bathroom door. "Ed? You ready? I only have so long for my lunch break, and I know you wanted ice cream…"

Shit! Edward had almost forgotten—he and Roy were going to go out for ice cream today….hasty now, he shoved the entire wad of gel into his mouth, using his tongue to push it onto the pained tooth—and those surrounding it. He would have preferred to be neater, but it wasn't exactly a precise process. Then he rinsed his hands and exited.

"Ready!" he chirped, smiling. Roy raised his eyebrows, but luckily didn't comment before turning around and leading the way out the door. Edward sighed with relief inwardly; this toothache was just the type of thing Roy would panic about…

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><p>A vanilla ice cream sundae covered in caramel sauce, peanuts, and whipped cream sat before Ed. It was so glorious, he almost hesitated to eat it…almost.<p>

Edward ignored Roy's laughter as he dug his spoon in eagerly, pushing the cold delicious treat into his mouth…his face fell instantly, and he (against his better judgment) spit the ice cream into a napkin.

Roy raised his eyebrows. "You know, for once watching you eat ice cream _isn't_ turning me on. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed, that was actually disgusting…"

Scowling, Ed couldn't help but pout a little. "It doesn't taste like anything…" Of course, Edward knew what the problem was: all that fucking Orajel. He should have known better; he'd numbed his tongue when he was spreading it around, and now he couldn't taste anything. He groaned aloud.

"That's weird, I can taste mine…" Roy licked his own ice cream—chocolate in a waffle cone, a more basic choice, but still tasty—thoughtfully.

Staring down at his hands now, Edward explained hesitantly. "Uhm, yeah, I…_might_ have used too much Orajel just before coming here…"

"Orajel? Why?"

Ed sighed in defeat. "I have a toothache…"

And just as he had predicted, Roy began fretting. "What!? Why didn't you tell me? We have to get you to a dentist!"

The man stood up, but Edward didn't budge. "Nuh uh, nope, I'm not going. I _hate _dentists. _Besides_, it's probably nothing. People get toothaches all the time."

Roy stared down at him for a moment, before bending over and kissing him. That was a surprise, and not an unpleasant one either, even if Edward couldn't taste anything. The man's tongue roamed about Ed's mouth, and it was only when he hit the hurt tooth and Edward let out a muffled yelp that he realized what Roy was doing. Examining him.

"That was underhanded, you know," he complained as the man retreated. He rubbed his cheek gently, wary of the once again throbbing tooth.

"Ed, I think your wisdom teeth are coming in," Roy stated simply.

The color drained out of Edward's face. He'd heard about wisdom teeth—and it was all horror stories. "Nooooo..." he moaned. "You can't be serious. Aren't wisdom teeth, like, the most painful things ever? And you have to have surgery to get them out, and your gums bleed, and-"

Roy sighed, and placed a comforting hand on his back. "Unfortunately I am serious, but it's not that bad. I had to have my wisdom teeth removed, and sure, it hurt, but it would have been a lot more painful if I hadn't gotten it taken care of. Besides, you're tough—hell, you've got _automail_. Wisdom teeth are nothing compared to that, trust me."

"Yeah, I suppose…" Edward huffed. "But I don't _want_ to have to deal with all that. Can't I just keep them in?"

"Not if they're hurting you! It'll be fine. Now come on, I want to get home and call the dentist, see when I can get you in." Roy held out a hand.

Ed stood obediently, taking the hand offered to him, still pouting. "Well, that's today gone to shit, I guess." After a last glance, he picked up his ice cream and took a bite. That didn't help anything at all. Edward tossed it in the trash as they walked off, complaining, "And I still can't even taste my fucking ice cream!"

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><p><strong>Sorry for the short chapter guys, but it felt complete, and I didn't want to mess with it...I guess this evens out Sight having 2 parts?<strong>

**Speaking of Sight, if you want a third part where Ed gets his vision back, let me know in the reviews and I'll post it as a bonus at the end :) Still looking for suggestions for hearing as well! Thanks~**


	5. Hearing

**Hearing**

Roy walked as fast as was reasonable down the hospital corridors. He knew he had a reputation, an image to maintain, but he also had to admit it was hard to keep his cool.

Every time one of Roy's men—or woman, in Lieutenant Hawkeye's case—was injured on a mission, he took it as a personal blow. They were his responsibility, and while Roy knew it wasn't his _fault_ if they were harmed, he still felt a degree of guilt, and certainly large amounts of sympathy.

But this was the worst. This was his one soft spot, the one person he shouldn't care for but did…Edward Elric.

Roy couldn't say when exactly he stopped looking at the boy as, well, a boy (and a subordinate to boot) and started looking at him as a beautiful blonde with an engaging personality. Even thinking the words made him wince—he was going soft, and he wasn't even thirty yet.

In any case, Roy had found his attractions slowly growing; at this point, they were just about unbearable, but…he still hadn't come clean. It should be Edward who was afraid of him—after all, Roy was the boy's superior. But just the opposite was true.

Roy had rarely been on the receiving end of rejection, but when he was, it never bothered him. They were just women (and the occasional fine male specimen) that he wanted to fuck. This was different. This was stronger. And the thought of telling Ed how much he cared for him, and being turned down…well, this was perhaps the one time Roy would allow himself to be a coward.

And now the blonde had been caught up in an explosion. That was all the information Roy got—he was simply told to come down to the hospital right away, and of course he had done so, panicking all the way. What if Ed had lost another limb? What if he had some internal bleeding? What if, please no, what if he was _dying_?

Roy doubted the latter option, as he was sure the doctor would have informed him of a situation that dire over the phone, but still. Memories of Ishbal made him a little paranoid about things like this—Roy knew all too well how fragile human beings were, no matter how tough they acted.

Turning around the last corner, Roy found himself face to face with a doctor—forties, going bald with the stress of his work—standing outside Edward's room.

"What is it?" Roy asked, irritated to find himself slightly breathless. "What's happened, is he okay?"

The doctor took off his glasses and cleaned them on the edge of his coat. Roy gulped—the action was a delay in replying, and didn't bode well. Finally, the man answered him, placing the frames back on his nose. "He's going to live, at least. Really, he's lucky. Just a few stray cuts and bruises, no major damage—his automail is even still in working condition."

As relieved as Roy was, he found himself confused. "Why was I called here, then?"

"Because the boy can't hear," the doctor sighed. "His eardrums were damaged due to the blast. I'll have to run some more tests to see if we can't perform a surgery or two and fix them, but for the time being, Edward Elric is deaf in both ears."

Roy, speechless, wasn't sure how to take this. Of course, he was glad there was nothing else wrong with Ed, but…to lose his hearing… "I want to see him."

"Of course." The doctor stepped aside and ushered him in.

Edward was sitting on the hospital bed, swinging his bare feet in the air—even worried as he was, Roy couldn't help but think of how cute this action was, coming from the short-tempered and vertically challenged boy before him.

Roy was about to cough to get the blonde's attention, when he realized that wouldn't work. Ed wouldn't notice. So instead, he walked forward until the boy's downcast eyes caught his shoes, and Edward looked up.

Before he could speak, Ed was talking, a little louder than might be considered normal. "If you want, you can write whatever you want to say down—that's what the doctor's been doing." He gestured to a pad of paper and a pen on the bedside table.

"Oh! Right, of course," Roy said, rather pointlessly considering Edward's state. As he bent to retrieve the items, he caught a glimpse of the blonde's face out of the corner of his eye…how odd. The boy almost seemed to be stifling laughter.

But that couldn't be.

Roy took the pen into his mouth, pulling off the cap and putting ink to paper. Only he couldn't think of what to say, now that he was actually faced with an injured Edward. He found his hand shaking slightly, and simply wrote, "I'm sorry."

He held it up for Ed to see, and immediately the boy was shaking his head, rolling his eyes. "Why?" Again, just a little too loud. "It's not your fault."

Roy wrote quickly, letters blurring together. Nevertheless, the boy could read the simple response: "I'm your commanding officer."

Edward actually laughed at that one. "Well if you're so responsible for me, then next time I accidentally destroy a town, you're footing the bill!"

Chuckling—it was odd and wonderful, how the boy could lift his spirits with this gentle teasing even when he was upset about Ed's deafness—Roy wrote an even messier response than before. "I already do. Or at least, _my_ superiors do."

Edward grinned, but didn't answer, and Roy couldn't think of what else to say. Or rather, write. Finally, Ed piped up. "Don't look so worried. You're never this upset—are you on your man-period or something? Look, the doctor said he might be able to do something, since he looked and it wasn't like my eardrums burst or anything. They're just 'damaged.' I'm gonna be fine. At the very least, I won't have to listen to people yelling at me anymore…" he added slyly.

Roy smiled softly at the blonde's reassurances, his not-so-subtle ribbing, and a thought flashed across his mind: why not tell him? It wasn't like Edward would be able to hear.

And so, truly grinning now, Roy looked Ed dead in the eye and murmured, "I love you."

The response was as immediate as it was shocking. The blonde before him slid off the bed, grabbed his collar, jerked him down, and kissed him full on the mouth.

Surprised but not at all upset by this strange turn of events, Roy took full advantage of the situation and pressed back forcefully, biting gently at the boy's lower lip and sliding his tongue into Ed's mouth.

When they broke apart, reality set back in and Roy, panting lightly, asked simply—though Edward could not hear him—"How?"

Ed grinned dubiously, winked, and proceeded not to answer his question at all. "I love you, too."

Joy flashed through Roy in a warm flood, and he bent to attack the boy's mouth again. Still, the curiosity was pressing, and when they again broke Roy repeated his inquiry. "How? How did you know what I said?"

Laughing, Edward finally confessed, shrugging helplessly. "You know, the doctors didn't even ask me, so I decided to play dumb, but—I can read lips."


	6. Touch

**Touch**

Normally, Edward didn't mind his automail, but lately…it had been bothering him.

Really, it only started when he and Roy got together. Up until that point, his automail had just been like his other arm. Actually, it came in handy for the job; he could hit people harder, and he never felt pain in his arm or leg.

But now, the lack of sensation was just what was killing him. Like now, Ed was walking down the street with Roy and Alphonse. Al had taken up position on his right left side, and so Roy was holding his right hand. His automail hand. But Edward _couldn't feel it_. This simple fact was so distracting, so _distressing_, that he couldn't even pay attention to what the two were talking about. Sure, Ed could tell he had something in his grasp, since his hand was closed around Roy's, but he couldn't feel the warmth, couldn't tell if the man squeezed his hand…

He'd been noticing little things like that ever since they got together, and every day it became more and more pressing.

Edward sighed; it wasn't like he could do anything about it.

* * *

><p>Curling up on the couch with his boyfriend should have been fun, but no. Ed couldn't stop focusing on his automail arm again. It wasn't anything, really, just that Roy had his arm around him and Edward didn't get to enjoy the feel of the man's hand resting on his shoulder…<p>

"That's it," he decided, sitting up straight and moving away. "I can't take it anymore."

This was ridiculous, he knew, that something so little would be upsetting him this much, but…

"Ed?" Roy asked, confused. "What's wrong?"

Edward stood up, pacing irritably, trying to control himself. "I can't _feel_ you Roy. I can't fucking feel you."

The man stared up at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

"My automail!" Ed stretched his arm out in disgust. "I never thought I'd hate it this much!"

Understanding crept across Roy's features. "Oh, Ed..."

"It's horrible! You hold my hand and I might as well be a doll! I can't feel you at all, and just now, with your arm around me—the second you get to my shoulder, it's like you're not there anymore!" Edward couldn't help the note of hysteria that crept into his voice. "Same thing with my leg! I'm just—I'm all…broken."

"Edward Elric, you are _not _broken," Roy responded. "Sit down, let me see for a minute."

Surprised by the strength of the man's voice, Ed sat. Roy took his arm and began to trace the pieces of metal, circling around the screws, examining his joints…the sight only served to make everything worse. "See? I can't feel this. If I was looking at your arm this closely, it might be _intimate_, but this…fucking hell, it's like you're Winry, it's like you're a mechanic, not my boyfriend…"

"Ed, you're just looking at this the wrong way. You see automail, and you get preoccupied with the fact that you can't feel. But when I look at this, I see how much you _can_ feel; how strong your heart is. Your leg shows your determination, your love for your mother, and your arm shows your dedication and care for Alphonse. You might not be able to feel my fingers right now, but you sure as hell have a lot more emotion than most people." Roy looked up, and smiled at him.

Edward, while he appreciated the thought, wasn't all that reassured. "That doesn't change the fact that if I closed my eyes, I wouldn't know that your hands were on me," he whispered.

The man next to him moved suddenly, sliding a hand up Ed's opposite arm, his flesh one. "How about now?"

"Yeah, but—" He was interrupted by Roy's other hand sliding up and under his shirt, running across his chest.

"Now?" the man asked dubiously.

"Yes," Edward breathed. "But still—oh!" A swift hand found its way underneath him and squeezed his ass.

"I _know_ you felt that," Roy whispered, suddenly close. "And I bet you'll feel this, too."

Ed couldn't respond, because there were suddenly lips pressed against his own. Out of habit, Edward reciprocated, but despite his best efforts to remain moody, he couldn't help smiling a bit as Roy continued kissing him.

Finally, the man pulled away. "See?" he panted. "You can still feel plenty. So you're missing an arm and a leg, big deal. I can still be close to you, and you can still be close to me. Remember last night?" he prompted, letting his head fall to nuzzle Edward's neck.

"Yes," Ed murmured, heat rising to his cheeks.

"So you can feel. Maybe not everywhere, but you can feel where it counts."

Edward, at this point less upset and more wanting, nodded before pulling Roy back up and into a kiss once more. The man had a point.

Roy only mentioned it again once, as they were pulling their shirts off. "Oh, and Ed?"

"Hmm?"

Suddenly finding himself pinned down, Edward looked into Roy's laughing eyes. "If the thing about your shoulder, or the hand holding bothers you that much…next time, just tell me to switch sides."

Ed might have retorted, but he was far too busy after that point.

* * *

><p><strong>Short again, sorry ;A; Not sure how I feel about this one, hopefully you guys like it...<strong>


	7. Bonus! Speaking

Edward was scowling when he walked into Roy's office. Up until about three months ago, this was normal, but ever since they had hooked up, Ed was usually grinning when he entered the office…especially when Roy got up to greet him and locked the door. But this time the boy practically had his own personal thundercloud hanging around, face scrunched up in a frown as he stormed in and slammed a paper on Roy's desk.

"That's not a very friendly greeting," he murmured as he read the paper, a sneaky smile growing on his face. "Oh, I see. You lost your voice."

At these words, the blonde's grimace only grew. True, Roy felt bad for Edward, but…this was an interesting opportunity. Payback for last week when the boy had realized that a mustang was a kind of horse as well as his last name…Roy's eye twitched just thinking about it.

Roy looked straight into Ed's eyes and said simply, "You're incredibly short."

As expected, the temporarily mute boy's mouth dropped open, only to clamp shut once more as Ed ground his teeth, fists clenching and face reddening.

And that was just a statement, not even one of really juicy insults Roy had stored up. This was going to get interesting.

He stood, making his way around to the front of his desk and leaning on it as he stared down at the angry blonde. And then he started throwing out names, just one or two words each. "Midget. Small Fry. Little Tyke. Vertically challenged. Shrimp. Pipsqueak. Tiny. Runt."

Just as he'd hoped, Roy was getting a (slightly sadistic) kick out of watching Ed lose his cool. The boy's face was growing redder and redder, and—oh this was perfect. Now Edward was actually "shouting" into Roy's face, finger pointed and everything…but no sound was coming out other that a slight rasping and the sound of Edward gasping for air as he continued to yell uselessly.

Roy couldn't help it—he snickered, pushing off from his desk to wander around the room. "You need a ladder to reach all of the bookshelves," he began, now listing how Edward's height hindered him. "You can't see over people's shoulders in a crowd, you can't change light bulbs, when you stay over at my place you actually have to climb onto the counter to reach the plates. Let's see, what else…"

Roy heard the blonde running towards him, tiny feet pounding on the carpet, and just barely got out his last jab ("You're even shorter than that Winry girl, men are supposed to be taller you know,") before Ed jumped in front of him and tackled him, causing them both to land on a heap on the ground.

Laughing breathlessly, Roy watched and waited as the blonde straddled him, scowling more than ever and panting with the effort of his pointless, silent shouting from before. He waited until the boy had settled down before saying just one last thing. "Hey, Ed, if Pluto is too small to be considered a planet, are short people really people?"

An automail fist came crashing into his lower cheek, sending his head slamming sideways into the floor. White hot pain throbbed out from the point of impact—that automail was a _bitch_. Roy blinked, spitting blood from a split lip onto the carpet before looking up and grinning at a very, _very_ irate Edward.

Even if he got hit, his little game had been worth it—but now it was time to make up with the boy. And so Roy reached up, grabbing Ed's collar and pulling him down for a kiss. The blonde resisted at first, but Roy's arm across his shoulders kept him down, and eventually the boy gave in, kissing him back—but only in a way that let Roy know he was in no way going to be rewarded with anything more.

They parted, and Roy smiled, before murmuring, "You know I'm just kidding. I don't mind you being the size you are…even if I do have to practically bend in half to kiss you most of the time."

The next day, Roy came into work with a busted lip and a black eye…as well as a bright and satisfied smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Short again. I'm horrible to you guys. Then again, this is a bonus, so I'm not sure you can complain.<strong>


	8. Bonus! Sight (Part 3)

Much as he hated to admit it, Edward was pouting. Worse, in full view of the psychiatrist he'd been seeing for a little over two months now. A part of him was screaming to get a grip and maintain his dignity, but most of Ed was just completely fed up with waiting.

After all, not being able to see for two months, when the only thing stopping him was his own head…sucked.

Ed sighed lightly, swinging his white cane in tiny circles where it dangled above the floor.

"Edward, please, we've been over this; if you have something on your mind, go ahead and say it," Dr. Heimlickin prompted gently.

Huffing, Ed changed his position and sat up straight on the couch he was currently occupying. He turned towards the sound of the doctor's voice. "I'm just sick of this," he grumbled. "I just want to see again!"

The psychiatrist made a sound that could only be described as nodding verbally. "I understand, but as we've discussed, this isn't something you can just force. Besides, you've been making progress; remember, just last week you mentioned the flashes were coming more frequently."

That was true. Since the first few sessions with Dr. Heimlickin, Ed had experienced brief flashes, usually only a second or two long, where he could see. These had been happening more and more often, coming almost daily now. "I _know_," he groaned, slouching down once more. "But they're still just little snippets. I never get to absorb anything. And…"

"And?"

Edward sighed once more. "They never happen when I want; actually, it's always the opposite. I've never managed to see Roy…"

"Ah," the doctor murmured, understanding coloring his tone. "That's what's really bothering you, isn't it? You want to be able to see Roy."

"It's not fair," Ed muttered pathetically. "He's what I want to be able to see more than anything, but it never happens."

There was a heavy pause during which Edward assumed Dr. Heimlickin was trying to decide what to say. Finally, the psychiatrist spoke. "I know you're not going to like hearing this, Edward, but I think the reason you can't see Roy is actually _because_ you want to so badly."

"I…don't understand," Ed confessed blankly.

And thus began a long and complicated answer. "Edward, as humans we rely on our sight a great deal. We are a 'see it to believe it' kind of people. I would guess that because you want to see Roy so badly _consciously_, your subconscious is that much more resistant to it. After all, you haven't actually seen him the entire time you two have been in a relationship. Subconsciously, you're probably afraid that if you do regain your sight, you'll find it's not what you imagined."

Nodding slightly, Edward considered that possibility. It wasn't as far-fetched as he might hope; he often found himself in utter disbelief that Roy could care about him that way…it wouldn't surprise Ed to know that the same stupid section of his mind that got rid of his sight in the first place would take that tiny wonder (not even actually a doubt) and twist it out of proportion. "Yeah, I suppose that could be true…so what can I do?"

"Just keep being with him," the doctor answered simply. "Time is the only treatment, I'm afraid."

That wasn't at all what Ed wanted to hear. He opened his mouth, not really knowing what was going to come out—when the timer rang shrilly, announcing the end of his session. Just as quickly as he had opened it, Edward snapped his mouth shut, resigned.

The sound of the psychiatrist standing filled the room. "Well, Edward, it appears that's all we have time for today. I'll see you next week, alright?"

Ed nodded, and headed out the door that Dr. Heimlickin—as always—held open.

He swung his cane gently down the hall, really only using the instrument to detect people; he'd long since memorized the layout of the office. Edward turned into the reception area and grinned as he heard the squeaking of the chair closest to the hallway as its occupant rose.

"How'd it go, Ed?"

Roy asked the same question every week, straight off. Edward rolled his eyes and stretched out his hand, grin widening despite his lackluster emotions from a moment ago when the man grabbed on. Ed let his cane fall to his side, much preferring to have Roy guide him. "Same old, same old," he answered, trying to sound as upbeat as possible. "Time. It's just going to take time."

Despite his best efforts, Roy knew Edward well enough to know he wasn't happy. "It's going to be okay," he murmured reassuringly as he helped Ed into the car. "You'll get it eventually."

"I know," Edward sighed as the door shut and Roy walked around.

Luckily for him, as soon as the man got in, he changed the subject. "You're staying at my house tonight, then?"

Smiling once more—the prospect of spending all night with Roy did that to him—Ed nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I am. What, you didn't really think I'd change my mind, did you?"

Laughing, the man beside him put the car in drive and started off.

* * *

><p>Edward woke up slowly, naturally. The trouble was, judging by the sleeping weight of Roy's arm around his waist and the soft sound of the man's breathing, it wasn't a proper time for him to do so. This had been happening quite frequently lately; he'd wake up in what he thought was night, but it would actually be noon. Or, just the opposite (like now), he'd wake up at night feeling like it was morning. Dr. Heimlickin said this happened to blind people often enough, because it always looked like night…but even if he wasn't alone, Ed still found it irritating.<p>

Trying to calm himself back into sleep, Edward focused on the sound of Roy's breathing. It was incredibly relaxing, and the ghost of a smile came to his face as he snuggled a little closer. He could just imagine the man's face, peaceful, hair messy and mouth just hanging open…

Ed was suddenly struck with a profound desire to see this face. The need struck deep and resonated, and his eyes snapped open on their own.

He would have gasped, had his voice not been snatched away.

Edward was seeing, honestly _seeing_ Roy! The scene was a little different than he had pictured, with Roy's hair far more distressed than he would have guessed and the man's mouth hanging open just a smidge further, but it was so _perfect_.

The acute need to blink came out of nowhere. Ed widened his eyes against the instinct, terrified that if he shut his eyes for even a second he would be back in the darkness. But he couldn't fight it forever, and against his will, his eyelids shut.

He pulled them open once more, immediately, and laughed, newly-working eyes tearing up—he could _still_ see!

Edward began to shake Roy, gently at first, and then harder and harder. "Roy! Roy!"

The man jerked out of his slumber with a lack of grace, eyes jolting open and mumbling something unintelligible.

"Roy!" Ed exclaimed again. "Roy, look!"

He watched the man's sleepy eyes search his, widening when Edward's gaze followed him. Ed couldn't keep it in any longer. "I can _see_, Roy, I can _see_!"

Shock crept across Roy's face and then he was laughing with Ed, sitting up and hugging him fiercely. "How?"

"I don't know!" Edward answered gleefully, pulling back to look at Roy's face. He couldn't get enough of it. "It doesn't matter!"

The man chuckled once more and pressed forward in silent agreement, kissing him. And even though it was probably rude, maybe a little awkward, Edward kept his eyes wide open.

* * *

><p><strong>So mushy. Of course, if you prefer the previous ending, you can just ignore this.<strong>

**Also, just an apology: I would have had this up last night but fanfiction was down (at least for me), so sorry about the delay!**


	9. Bonus! Reality

**Reality**

I sat next to the boy's bedside in a chair that had been worn enough to conform to my shape. I'd spent more hours in it over the course of the last six months than I could guess. By now, all the nurses know me by name.

I leaned forward, stroking Edward's hand, which lay exposed on the blanket. Since the accident, when Ed had entered this coma, all my ambitions had flown out the window. I ceased working overtime, did only the minimum of missions, and barely managed to stay on top of my paperwork. Instead, all of my time was spent next to the blonde. It wasn't like Edward knew I was there; he hadn't woken up, hadn't even come close, not for six months. But still, I liked to be there.

I missed the boy.

A nurse, walking by the open door, peered in curiously before waving and ducking back out. This had happened a few times since he arrived—after all, it wasn't my usual visiting time. Normally, I sprinted to the hospital right after work, and stayed until the doctors were more or less prying me out of the chair. But today was special—after I'd gotten the call, I had abandoned my desk and rushed over. Who cared about work at a time like this? Ed's brainwaves were spiking. Though they had done so before, likely with dreams, the doctors said this was on an entirely different scale.

Maybe on a waking scale.

I forced my gaze away from the blonde's face, relaxed in his constant sleep, and looked to the heart monitor. I was no expert, but it was obvious that Edward's heart was more active. The same was clear when I glanced at the brainwave monitor, a slightly more complicated machine. Ed was closer to being alert than he had been since the accident, and I couldn't contain my hope.

Nothing would be better than seeing the boy awake again. My job could go to hell, as long as Edward was okay. My heart throbbed at the thought of how he used to be, the little spitfire. I squeezed the limp hand in his grasp, almost like I was trying to force some life out of it.

And it worked! The brainwave monitor, which I was still staring at, started going crazy, and—upon checking—the heart monitor was registering a much higher heart rate. I lowered his gaze, almost afraid of what I would find—

And two golden eyes—they still looked the exact same as before—were staring back up at me.

"Ed!" I gasped, standing, the force throwing his chair back a few feet. "Holy—doctor!" I shouted, tossing the words over my shoulder but afraid to break eye contact. "I need a doctor in here, he's—he's woken up…"

There was a commotion outside the door—evidently a nurse had heard me. Not even a minute later a doctor barreled through the door, eyes finding Edward immediately. He ran fingers through his thinning hair and began to check the monitors as well as the boy, placing his hand on Ed's forehead, his wrist, checking everything.

Meanwhile, the blonde was still staring at me. His eyes, though a relief to see, were unsettlingly distant, as though Edward was seeing right through me. I had the terrifying though that maybe the boy's mental faculties had been damaged during the coma.

"Can you speak?" the doctor asked Edward urgently, forcing his gaze away from me. "Can you move?"

Ed's eyes flicked back to me and then again to the doctor, seeming confused. "Water," he croaked finally. I almost fainted. It was harsh and unused, yes, but that was the same voice, the voice that used to yell at me and fight and be so full of spirit…

Hurriedly, the doctor gestured to a nurse—when did she get in here?—and gestured for some water, which was promptly given. I watched with some degree of jealousy as he placed the straw gently into Edward's waiting mouth, amazed when the blonde drank; it was a sign of life I still couldn't believe I was seeing.

Finally, after an eternity, he released the straw. He turned to me, and raised his hand, which I took without hesitation. "Roy," he whispered, smiling faintly. Tiredly.

I could have died right then and there and been happy. "Hey, Ed. I'm here. I'm so sorry." These were the words I'd been dying to say since the accident; after all, I sent him on the mission that resulted in the coma. Actually, scratch that—those were about _half_ of the words I'd been wanting to say. "Ed, I need to tell you something."

He looked at me strangely, eyes distracted by the doctor, who was checking printouts and conferring with the nurse quietly in the corner. "What?"

I gulped. Now or never, and never wasn't acceptable. I'd missed my chances before, and almost lost the boy before I could tell him. I had to say it. "I love you," I breathed. "I've loved you for a long time, I—I never told you, and then this happened, and…I just needed you to know."

Edward didn't get angry. Neither did he return the sentiment. Instead he turned away with something like pain in his eyes. "You know, I wish I'd stop dreaming this. It's so hard to remind myself it isn't real, it's just my brain giving me what I always wanted…"

My blood froze at those words, and the doctor looked up, alarm written on his face. "Ed, what do you mean?" I asked desperately. "You're awake!"

"Stop it!" he ordered, turning back to me. "Stop! I don't want to hear it! I'm stuck in these stupid dreams, and just when I think it's happening—I'm waking up, I'm alive, I'm okay, and what's more you _love_ me—just when everything right happens I'm whisked off to another dream. I can't _take_ it anymore! I can't keep having you taken away from me…"

"Edward," the doctor interjected carefully. "You're not dreaming anymore, son. You're awake—and doing surprisingly well for someone who just came out of a coma."

The boy only snorted, jerking his hand out of my grasp. "I've dreamed this one a thousand times. The doctor _always_ says I'm awake. But I'm not. I'm not falling for it."

"Ed, please, believe me—you're awake!" I insisted, desperate. "How can I prove it to you?"

"You already gave yourself away—my mind's not very good at tricks. Roy would never say he loves me, because he doesn't. I know better. I'm just wishing it."

I was thunderstruck. I'd waited six months, _six fucking months_, and finally the blonde was awake—but he was delusional. I leaned in, even as the doctor warned me not to, and kissed the boy, hoping to shock him into reality.

He didn't kiss me back, which was more than a little heartbreaking. I pulled away, searching his eyes, which were held that distant stare—although it was pained now. "That's just cruel," he murmured. "I should know better than to do this to myself."

I vaguely registered the sound of the doctor sighing. I turned to him, voice cracking. "Is there anything you can do?"

He shook his head, and each word he spoke was like a nail in my coffin. "He's trapped in his own mind, which is a powerful thing. He truly doesn't believe he's awake, and no one can fix that but him."

Through the blank, shocked expanse of my mind came a thought: maybe Edward would have believed he was awake if I hadn't confessed. If I hadn't said something so apparently untrue, something he evidently wanted to be to true, something so surprising it, in his eyes, couldn't be real…

The doctor rested his hand on my shoulder for a moment before exiting with the nurse. I didn't notice—I was stuck staring at Ed's eyes as he closed them, rolling over onto his side. "I just want to change dreams again," he begged an unknown force, hugging his pillow. "This one hurts."

A parade of doctors, nurses, and equipment came in and out of the room. The lights came on, the lights turned off, over and over and over. And all I could do was stare.

I'd gotten my wish—Ed was awake. Just not to me.

* * *

><p><strong>Another experiment with mind issues. This ones a little tragic, I teared up a little writing it, which is bad since I'm in school XD<strong>

**I don't think I've ever written in Roy's POV before, so that's new... I think I like it, although third person remains my favorite.**

**Anywho. Hope you guys like it~**


	10. Bonus! Balance

Was it mean? Yeah. Was it cruel? Potentially. Was it going to be embarrassing? Definitely. Was it going to be funny?

Hell yes.

Roy had been concocting his little scheme for _forever_, and it was finally the right time. He'd gotten everything figured out, and decided on a method. It was definitely an unorthodox way of doing things, but that didn't matter.

All that was left to do now was watch and let it all fall into place.

* * *

><p>Edward grumbled, throwing himself bodily onto one of the couches in the Colonel's office. Stupid bastard, asking him to come here so early, before anyone else even got to there. Stifling a yawn, Ed crossed his arms and stared at the man across the desk.<p>

For it being five in the morning, he looked awfully satisfied. Maybe it was just because he also got to watch Edward suffer, but still. The Colonel had no reason to be so awake, with that stupid smirk on his face.

They sat in silence for a brief moment. It grew longer and longer, and the man in front of him just kept _staring_, a grin spreading across his features. Ed suppressed a shudder; something about the look made him nervous. "Well?" he finally demanded. "Aren't you going to tell me why you needed me to come in so fucking early?"

"Language, Fullmetal," the Colonel chided. "You're talking to a superior officer."

"Bull-fucking-shit," Edward answered. "You're lucky I'm not slapping you across the face for pulling this. I'll curse as much as I want to."

The man before him sighed but did not comment. "The reason I called you in, Fullmetal, is because we are testing out a new peer-review exam today. Team members will follow each other around as they go about their business. The whole point is to judge who gets along best with whom—"

"You seriously did not just say 'whom.'"

Ed received a short glare for his interruption.

"As I was saying, to judge who gets along best with _whom_. Proper grammar is important, Fullmetal. Anyway, today it's your turn to be followed. You'll cycle through the team today—no need to act any different, it's just to judge interactions."

Edward couldn't believe what he was hearing. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And considering some of the shit that comes out of your mouth, that's saying a lot."

A frown! Ed could have cheered. Usually it took a lot more to get the Colonel to react to his taunts. "Fullmetal, it's not up to me to say whether it's smart or not. It's just my job to follow orders, and this is the order I've been given."

Ugh. Edward groaned, sinking further into the couch. "You realize if anyone reports that I'm a lazy ass, I'm going to blame you. I'd be fine if I hadn't had to wake up this damn early."

"Perhaps some coffee would help?" the man offered, pointing to the corner where a fresh pot of coffee was waiting.

Immediately, a conflict rose up in Ed. On the one hand, the Colonel being so polite and helping him was suspicious. There had to be some ulterior motive. On the other hand...Edward had never had coffee. Every time he got near the stuff Al got in his way, saying it was going to make him too hyperactive, or mess up his brain, or something like that. Honestly, where did his _younger brother_ get off telling him what to do? And how did Alphonse know about coffee anyway?

The curiosity was too much for him. After all, every else around Headquarters drank the stuff nonstop. It had to be pretty good…hesitantly, Ed nodded.

He could have sworn he saw a smile flash across the Colonel's face as he got up, striding over to the pot and pouring a steaming cup out. Edward watched the man's movements closely, watching for any sign of foul play, but didn't see anything strange. Eagerness crept through his careful, disinterested façade and Ed couldn't help but lean out to accept the cup when it was offered to him. Still, he paused.

"What?" the man still standing in front of him snickered. "You're not afraid of it, are you?"

"Fuck you," Ed muttered, staring at the drink, an odd, creamy brown color. "You didn't put anything in this, did you?"

The Colonel walked around his desk to once again settle into his chair before answering. "One, you fucking me would be highly inappropriate. Two!" he continued loudly before Edward could retort. "All I put in was a little cream and sugar. I don't think you'd like it black."

Without another word, Ed raised the cup to his lips and swallowed, a little more than was probably necessary, but he had to prove he wasn't afraid. A bitter taste, not tempered much by the cream, assaulted his throat and he coughed, sticking his tongue out as though the air would help. "That's disgusting!"

The man only laughed. "You don't like it?"

"No! Ugh!" Edward shook his head side to side, not that it helped. "How do people drink that shit _every day_?"

A shrug. "I suppose it's an acquired taste." Ed felt eyes on him as he continued to make a face, contemplating licking his coat sleeve to get the aftertaste away. "Need some water?"

He nodded fervently, relieved when the Colonel stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll be right back."

With the man safely gone, Edward went ahead and wiped his sleeve across his tongue. Ew. Didn't help at all. Seriously, how could anyone drink that? He shivered, composing himself just as the Colonel reentered his office, silently holding out a glass of water. Ed snatched it away, gulping the water down as fast as possible, draining the cup in a matter of moments.

"That," he panted, after he was done. "Was the worst thing I've ever tasted. That's it, isn't it? You were trying to kill me with _coffee_." Suddenly Edward understood why Al had never let him have it before.

"Of course not. I was just trying to wake you up."

"Bastard," Ed muttered. The worst part was, it had worked. The trauma of that horrific taste had well and truly woke him up. He stood, sick of dealing with the Colonel at the moment, and made to leave.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye's going to be the first one with you, Fullmetal," the man called after him. "She should be here by now, it's almost six."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

* * *

><p>Hawkeye was quiet. Edward sat there, doing paperwork—apparently missions would be tested another day, so he was stuck in the office doing that crap—and she didn't say anything, just went about her work. And that wasn't a problem…but after a while it became a little eerie. Ed knew that was just how she was; she didn't say anything unless it needed to be said, and if it came to that, the Lieutenant was incredibly loud about it. So realistically, it was a good thing she wasn't constantly saying something. That (and the absence of a gun in his face) meant he wasn't fucking up yet.<p>

But still.

"Oh!" he remembered, looking at the clock. "Al's supposed to be here soon…" For whatever reason, Alphonse had decided to not come with Ed in the early morning, instead deigning to report to work at the usual time at seven. It was weird, but really, Edward had better things to do than nag his brother about stuff like that. "I'm going to go meet him at the door—I need a break" Ed announced, standing up and stretching, almost falling backwards as he did so. Weird.

Hawkeye nodded and stood up as well, following him as he started off down the hall. Then—Edward spun around, swearing he had just heard a giggle. A _giggle_ of all things from the Lieutenant!? But he didn't get time to consider this outrageous possibility, because he was slipping backwards, arms pin wheeling as he tried to stay upright.

He jerked forward when he felt hands on his back, guiding him back into a steady position. Ed turned around again—much more slowly, this time—and was met with the Colonel's chest. He stumbled back, almost falling again, but this time able to right himself. Edward scowled. "The hell was that for?"

The man raised his eyebrows. "Fullmetal, if you had wanted to fall, you could have said so. I was under the impression that you _didn_'_t_ want to land on your ass."

"I meant standing so fucking close!" Edward yelled, standing on his tiptoes to get in the Colonel's face…only to tip forward and into him again. Ed jumped back once more, seething and red, this time keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground.

"Are you all right?" Hawkeye asked before the Colonel could do more than let out a short laugh. "You seem to be having a bit of a problem balancing."

"I'm fine," Ed growled, ducking around the Colonel and continuing down the hall. "Let's just go get Al."

* * *

><p>After meeting up with Alphonse, Hawkeye left him, to be replaced by Havoc. He was much more talkative that Hawkeye, constantly making jokes and complaining about his luck with women. Edward found it hard to concentrate, not that he was complaining—this was <em>much<em> more exciting than paperwork. Ed almost hated to even excuse himself from the comedy hour to take a piss.

He found himself tripping constantly on his way down the hall. What was _wrong_ with him today? It was like his feet just didn't want to obey…

Edward was almost done in the restroom when the Colonel walked in, heading silently for the urinal next to Ed's. He couldn't help but squirm a little bit—it was an unspoken rule that you just didn't _do_ that, not if other ones were open. And they were the only two in the bathroom.

He wasn't going to stand for this. Ed tucked himself safely away before turning to the man next to him. "Do you not know—" But his feet was too slow, the automail one turning and the flesh one smacking it. With a yelp, Edward fell onto his knees, catching himself with his hands and barely managing to avoid smacking his face on the floor.

And when he raised his head to stand up…the Colonel was right there, laughing it up, junk hanging out. Far too close. Ed's face flushed crimson and he pushed backwards, ending up on his ass and trying to backpedal even so.

* * *

><p>Roy could barely contain himself. He thought he was going to <em>explode<em>, hysteria pent up inside. That was too perfect, the look on Ed's face too funny—and the best part was, he hadn't even planned that one. Sure, he'd followed the boy into the restroom with the aim to make him uncomfortable, and hopefully fall again, but the timing…

It couldn't have been better.

* * *

><p>Ed was getting a little irritated by the Colonel's continuing chuckles. "Yeah, yeah, really fucking funny," he muttered, trying to will his blush away. "You shouldn't be laughing, you're the one who's all exposed."<p>

The man shook his head, biting his lip against more laughs for a moment as he put everything away. A little too late, in Edward's opinion. He went to wash his hands, calming himself, and only when he was done did the Colonel turn to Ed. "I don't have a particular problem with what just happened," he stated simply. "Actually, I got a bit of a kick out of it."

Ed was dumbfounded as he watched the man walk out. What was he supposed to say to that? Honestly?

He shook his head and went over to the sink, slipping _again_ on the way over.

This day was fucking ridiculous.

* * *

><p>Next up was Breda, oddly enough out on the gun range. Edward had complained endlessly about that one—why did he need to know how to use a gun when he had alchemy? But the Colonel insisted, and considering Ed couldn't look at him for more than two seconds without blushing, it was kind of hard to argue.<p>

"So you just load the bullets here," Breda instructed, not even watching his own practiced hands as they loaded his gun. Instead he watched Edward fumbling. It was a lot harder than it looked—for one thing, the gun was way heavier than he'd imagined, and for some reason he was having a hard time keeping a grip on it. Once he'd finally loaded the gun, Breda continued. "Now, you take the safety off—yeah, like that—and just pull the trigger."

Edward stood, hands together to brace himself for the kickback, taking careful aim. The target was only a few yards away, but it seemed like a lot more…

Alchemy was easier.

He took a breath, and pulled the trigger.

The gun went off in his hand, louder than he'd expected, and _harder_ too. The kickback stunned him, forcing his feet out from under him…how many more times was he going to have this problem today?

And how many more times would the Colonel catch him!? There he was _again_, hands this time wrapped around Ed's waist as he prevented him from hitting the ground. Edward spluttered, trying to get upright and finally succeeding. Only then did the Colonel let him go, hands staying in place a little longer than he thought was really necessary.

"Are you fucking _following _me!?" he yelled, ripping off his protective headphones.

"Considering I just stopped your skull from getting cracked, you'd think I'd get a little more gratitude…" the man smirked, placing his hands in his pockets. It wasn't lost on Ed that the Colonel avoided his question…so he _was_ following him them!

"I can handle a fall," Edward snapped. "Just…" He couldn't quite think of anything to say. "What kind of game are you playing!?"

The Colonel turned around, tossing his answer over his shoulder…along with a wink. "One where we both win."

* * *

><p>Next in his lineup of team members to be followed by (which was still a stupid concept) was Fuery. At this point, Ed was again doing paperwork. Or rather, pretending to do paperwork. Mostly he was thinking.<p>

First, and less important, why was he all clumsy today? He couldn't stay upright to save his life, and even his flesh arm seemed less inclined than normal to obey orders. Edward found himself losing his grip on papers. While not particularly concerning—after all, everyone had days like this—it was a little irritating.

And then there was the Colonel. Every single time Ed tripped he seemed to be there, ready to catch him. It was like the man was _looking_ for an excuse to touch him—that thought brought Edward up short. It was ridiculous, the Colonel wasn't like that, sure he was a bastard, but he was a straight bastard. A womanizer, to hear Havoc tell it. So that couldn't be it. Still, the possibility—no, scratch that, wrong word, just the crazy idea—was enough to bring heat to his face for the billionth time today.

Edward stuck to his chair, refusing to get up for anything. He didn't like the strange little thrill that came with the thought of the Colonel wanting to feel him up, and he wasn't going to put himself in the position of falling all over the man again.

* * *

><p>Falman, the last team member to follow him around, was more than happy to head to the library. Ed always loved the library; for one thing, there was always something about alchemy he could read (which he did so voraciously), and for another, it was just a peaceful place. Quiet, and it was never overly busy…Edward was relaxed there, safe.<p>

He looked at the shelves, searching for a specific book. Ed sighed, resigned as he looked up. He'd have to get a ladder.

On the first rung, Edward thought about not climbing up. His balance was more than a little off today, and besides that the whole thing with the Colonel had him a little frazzled. But he wanted that book. Stubborn as always, Ed started up.

Why did he have to pick the book so close to the top? No, why did the library have to put it there? Honestly. Edward finally reached it, glancing down. It wasn't like he was outrageously high up—his feet were realistically about seven feet off the ground—but with the way his day had been going…

* * *

><p>Roy turned a corner and spotted Edward. As glad as he was to see he boy—this little exercise was even more fun than he'd expected—he <em>wasn't<em> happy about his position. The blonde was up on a ladder. A fucking ladder! Roy had thought Ed would have had more common sense than that! He was actually in danger now, this wasn't how Roy had planned it…

He barely suppressed the urge to shout the boy's name, knowing that would only startle him and increase his chances of falling. Roy started jogging towards Edward, stretching his arms out—

* * *

><p>Ed stretched out his arm, grabbing the book and holding it to his chest. Ha! He'd worried for nothing, he was fine—<p>

Going down, his foot slipped, and Edward tumbled back. For the brief second he was in the air, Ed almost wasn't worried—either he wouldn't be hurt because it wasn't the worst fall he'd been in or the Colonel would be there, right?

It turned out his latter thought was correct. The man huffed as Edward fell into his outstretched arms, just barely catching him. Ed, this time, was actually glad for his presence…until he heard the yelling.

"What the _fuck_ were you thinking, Ed!?" the Colonel was shouting, panicked. "You could have gotten hurt!"

The immediate shock was the use of his name. The man _never_ called him by name, only by title. He was so taken aback he wasn't quite sure what to say. "What?"

"You've been falling down all day!" the Colonel growled. "What made you think it would be a good idea to _get on a fucking ladder_?"

Edward realized only then that the man was still holding him, bridal style. He flushed and squirmed, trying to get down, but the Colonel wouldn't let go. "You can't be reckless like that, Ed."

"Why does it matter to you?" Edward asked, irritation coloring his voice. "You've been trying to piss me off all _day_—"

"That doesn't mean I want you to get hurt!"

Ed stared up at the man, rather surprised by the strain in his voice. The Colonel actually looked upset, worried. "Can you put me down?" Edward whispered.

"Promise me you'll be more careful first," the man insisted.

"Fine," Ed muttered, relieved when his legs were placed—gently, what the hell?—on the ground again. "I still don't see why you're so upset, though."

The Colonel just took a deep breath. "Forget it. Just don't hurt yourself. Anyway, I actually came by to tell you—Falman's shift is over."

Edward grinned. "So I'm done being followed?"

The man mirrored his smile, though his eyes were still dark. "No. It's my turn."

Well that was a surprise. Ed didn't know how to feel about that—his stomach clenched up awkwardly, but the feeling wasn't all that unpleasant…and that was the worst part. He sighed. "What am I doing?"

"How about just a walk? I need a breather."

Edward nodded silently and followed the man out of the library, the book he'd gone to retrieve forgotten. Walking with the Colonel? And for him to be so riled up over Ed falling…it was weird.

They were silent as they walked, aside from Edward muttering curses as he continued to trip over his own feet. The Colonel shortly took to walking a little bit slower than him and letting his hand hover behind Ed, barely an inch from the small of his back. More than a little awkward, in Edward's opinion.

He didn't really see what happened next, but all of a sudden there was a jerking on his coat. Ed was spun around, and of course he fell—right on top of the Colonel, who was also going down. He caught a flash of silver metal, and then all Edward could see was the man's face.

The Colonel sat up just slightly, Ed hurriedly pulling back—he was still too close, far too close, and there was a hand on his head and—

He was being kissed. By the Colonel.

Edward's brain was trying and failing to make the connection, to understand. What the hell was going on? It took a rather long time for him to realize he could pull away, and Ed did so, jerking his head back and staring at the man he was still on top of. The Colonel's eyes were shining.

"What the fuck?" he murmured hoarsely. The man laughed, and Edward's body moved with the sound. He shivered.

"That's not really the reaction I was hoping for, but I guess it's better than getting slapped."

Another laugh joined in, and Ed's head shot up to see…"Alphonse!?"

Al waved. "Hi, Brother!"

This was too much. "Okay, someone needs to tell me what the hell is happening here."

The Colonel began to explain, more than happy to leave Ed on his lap. "I might have spent the day trying to get to this point."

"What _point_?" Edward was getting impatient. He tried to stand up, but the Colonel held him down.

"Give me a minute. I guess I should apologize—it's kind of a weird way to do this, but—_I'm_ the reason you've been falling down all day, Ed."

There it was again! His name, not his title. "Huh?"

"This morning? With the coffee? How you needed water afterwards? I have slipped something in to affect your balance. The aftertaste of the coffee covered it up."

The Colonel didn't appear to be at all guilty for having drugged him. "You _ass_!" Ed shouted, trying again to get up, again being prevented. "Let me go! You fucking hypocrite, you were all worried about me falling off a ladder when it's _your _fault—"

The man's face darkened. "_That_ wasn't supposed to happen. I thought you'd have more sense than that—most everything else I had planned, but that one was an accident."

"You're still a _dick_," Edward hissed.

Alphonse was still chuckling. "I told you, you should have asked the question first, Roy."

"Roy!?" Ed gaped.

"Roy" laughed too, and again with feeling the laughter. "Yeah, Roy. I asked for his help, so I figured we should be on a first name basis. Same with you, by the way." The Colonel turned to Al. "And I needed to explain first. Do you think he'll still say yes?"

"I dunno…" Alphonse answered in a mockingly doubtful tone. "It's not like Brother's a huge sucker for this kind of thing…"

"If I don't get some kind of explanation I am going to kick you in the balls, Colonel."

"Roy."

"Fine!" Ed shouted. "Roy! I'm going to kick your fucking nuts, _Roy_, if you don't start talking!"

Roy laughed _again_, but at least got back to the topic at hand. "I only drugged you because I wanted it to be dramatic. Unique. You were right, I _was_ following you, making sure to catch you whenever you actually fell—when I could. You're timing in the restroom was really off, not that I'm complaining." Edward felt his face heat up at the reminder of that incident. "I was working up to the main goal—I have a question to ask you."

"What?" Ed asked, heart racing. He had been right, hadn't he? Roy had been trying to touch him, to…

"Would you like to come to my house for dinner this Friday?"

It was a bit anticlimactic, but the question made sense. Roy was…_coming on to him_? Edward stuttered. "You…did all this…to ask me on a _date_?"

Roy shrugged helplessly. "Well, yeah. When I asked Al how I should do it, how to get you to say yes, he told me you're secretly really touched by romantic plans and such."

Ed glared at his brother, who giggled. "How does _drugging_ me constitute as romantic?"

"It was the means to an end. Also my personal touch—I can't be _too_ nice to you," Roy teased. "Besides, everything else was a pretty fantastic plan wasn't it?"

Pouting now, Edward folded his arms. Damn Alphonse for doing this! Now he understood why his brother had stayed home instead of coming to work early with him…it was so Roy could pull his stupid trick. Still, Al hadn't been lying. Ed _was_ a sucker for this kind of thing. It was sweet, in a kind of creepy way. "Having me land on you is _so_ cliché," he muttered.

Roy grinned. "Is that a yes?"

A heavy pause. "Yeah. But next time…just trip me or something. That would have been easier."

Roy leaned forward and kissed him again. "No promises. This was pretty fun."

"Sick bastard."

"And that's why you said yes."

* * *

><p><strong>Longest chapter ever...but it wouldn't have read the same if I split it up. So yeah.<strong>

**Also, I usually don't regret anything...but I think even I'm sorry for the bathroom scene XD It was too funny to take out though. **

**Enjoy~ My fingers need a break *^***


	11. Bonus! Memory

Edward stared at Truth, trying not to show how nervous he was. The thought had just come to him—if it worked, Alphonse would be back. If not…Ed didn't know how to save his brother.

He cleared his throat gently, then said simply, "I want my brother back."

Truth grinned widely at him. "Oh? And what do you have to offer?"

Edward closed his eyes; if he had been religious, he would have been praying. "My memories."

The being before him seemed delighted. "Oh! You're a smart one, aren't you? Yes, I can give you Alphonse Elric in return for your memories. But are you sure they're something you're willing to give up?"

Yes. Ed was sure. He _had_ to have Al back and healthy, no matter the cost. An image of Roy flashed though his mind and he inhaled sharply, trying to bite back the sting of pain. He should have known better than to get involved with the man when Alphonse had always been his main priority. It was Edward's fault that his brother's body had been lost, and now he had to fix it. Even if that meant losing Roy.

Ed took a deep breath and said a quick goodbye in his mind. He gazed at Truth, determined. "I'm sure."

Black hands were suddenly all around him, caressing Edward's face to get at the memories within. He saw a glimpse of Al—not smiling, as he would expect, but crying out—and then everything went black.

* * *

><p>"Where is he!?" Roy shouted, frantic as he scrambled around blindly. "Where's Ed? What's he done?"<p>

The silence behind him was not reassuring, as Hawkeye guided him silently towards the sound of Alphonse wailing, "Brother! It's me, Brother!"

Roy heard Edward's voice, but it wasn't his voice; something in it was wrong, too…innocent. "Huh?"

He dropped to the ground, surprised by how close the boy sound, and reached out, clumsy without his sight, grasping the edge of Ed's sleeve. He pulled himself closer. "Ed!" Roy gasped, relieved to find that he was still there, and presumably in one piece.

"Who _are_ you people?"

The response was like a burn, a sharp spike of pain and confusion before a steadier, slightly duller torture. "Ed?" Roy whispered, trying not to panic. "It's me, it's Roy. You know…"

The voice of the blonde now wrapped in his blind arms was confused. "What are you _talking_ about? And why the hell are you clinging on me like that? I don't know any Roy, or Alphonse…"

Roy's breath stopped. Edward wasn't kidding; even now, the boy was breaking free of his hold. "What happened?" he rasped. "Why don't you know who I am?"

It was Alphonse who answered, his voice oddly clear. "I—I think Brother gave up his memories. I saw him, with Truth. He was trying to get my body back, and the trade he made was for memories…"

Already kneeling on the ground, Roy allowed himself to sag forward until his fists pushed into the newly exposed dirt. "So…he doesn't know who I am? He doesn't remember—anything!?"

"No," Al whispered. No wonder he sounded less muffled; he was in a body again. "He doesn't remember anyone, Roy. Not even me. I don't even know if he knows who he is."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Edward snapped. "Of course I know who I am, you people are crazy! I'm Edward, Edward…" The silence raged on.

"You don't know your last name, do you?" Roy asked in a monotone.

"No…" the boy answered eventually, sounding concerned. "No, I—I feel like I know it, but I can't seem to get it…"

Al tried a different tactic, speaking directly to Ed. "I'm Alphonse. You've lost your memory, you know that now, right? But I'm your brother."

Roy could almost see Edward shaking his head, moving like the blonde and sounding like him too, but was he really Ed if he didn't remember anything? He pulled a hand up, clutching at his chest. He'd heard of heartbreak, but this—his heart actually _ached_, throbbing, his whole torso consumed with pain.

"I think I would remember my own brother," Edward muttered doubtfully.

"What about your lover?" Roy rasped.

"I have a _lover_!?" Ed gasped. Roy gaped, feeling as though a sob might be trying to escape, but no sound came out. He couldn't breathe.

"Yes, Brother," Alphonse answered, sounding haggard as well but much more okay with this than Roy. He could only be hiding what he felt; Al was too attached to Edward to take this easily. "You're in love with Roy. You just don't remember."

Roy could actually _feel_ the blonde gazing at him, sizing him up. He would have laughed if he had it in him; his current state wasn't exactly ideal for getting Ed going.

"I don't remember," the boy murmured. "You're my brother, and he's my…my _boyfriend_?"

"That's right, Brother."

"But how could I forget that?" Edward cried out. "How could I not know you're my _brother_!?" And you…" Ed walked over to Roy, plopped down in front of him. "I love you? How could I forget that?"

"You don't feel anything at all? Look at me. You don't…" Roy trailed off, desperate but sensing a continuing hesitancy from the blonde.

"No. I mean, you're—you're plenty _attractive_, but I don't _know_ you…Roy."

The sound of his name, spoken with such an utter lack of recognition, with no trace of the warmth he had become accustomed to, sent Roy reeling. "Ed, please," he begged, grappling for the boy's arms. "_Please_. You can't—you _have_ to remember. I love you."

But Edward pulled away, and Roy felt something inside of him crack. "Listen," the blonde said. "I don't remember either of you—but I don't remember anything else, either. My mind…it's so _blank_." Oh, Roy _needed_ to hug the boy, he sounded so lost in that moment, but with his earlier efforts having been spurned, it probably wasn't the best idea. "I guess I believe you, but I just—I don't remember. I can't just suddenly go back to being your brother, Alphonse, or your lover, Roy. I don't _know_ either of you."

"It's okay, Brother. You've lost your memories, but—but we can make new ones." For the first time since Roy had entered this conversation, Al seemed shaken, unsure.

"Alright," Edward agreed, not hesitant but not eager. Completely neutral. Uncaring—he didn't remember enough _to_ care.

Alphonse could talk about rebuilding all he wanted, but—to Roy, it seemed hopeless. How was he supposed to make the boy he loved fall for him all over again, when he couldn't even remember his last name?

* * *

><p><strong>I'll probably do a second part to this that ends a little nicer...I think I've had enough of writing sad oneshots for a while. <strong>


	12. Bonus! Memory (Part 2)--End

It was always a fight, going over to see Ed. First off, it felt unnatural; Roy had gotten used to his one on one interactions with the boy, and now Alphonse was almost constantly there. Second, it always hurt; seeing the blonde he had fallen in love with look at him and not know who he was made Roy vaguely nauseous—and it was worse, now that he had his sight back. Now that he could physically _see_ the expressions of Edward's newly naïve face. And then there was the thing with Al…he couldn't even think about it without wanting to punch something.

But of course he kept coming back. He had to. If there was any hope at all that Ed would regain his memories, Roy would be chasing it, no matter how horrible the process.

So there was no hesitancy when he knocked…though there was a brief moment, when _fucking Alphonse_ opened the door that Roy wanted to leave. He just couldn't stand it—that stupid happy grin on Al's face.

It wasn't fair.

"Hey, Roy!" the boy chirped. Thus far, Roy had been able to contain himself, so Alphonse didn't know how much he was coming to hate him…yet. Hence the happy-go-lucky attitude, which actually only irritated Roy further. What a viscous circle.

"How's he doing?" His automatic question.

"About the same—although he _did_ have a flashback of sorts."

Roy ground his teeth. He almost certainly was not going to like where this was going, but he had to ask… "Oh?"

"Yeah," Al continued, stepping aside so Roy could enter the apartment. "It's crazy, but Brother's absolutely convinced he remembers the day I was born."

Yeah, that made Roy's blood boil. Just a little. In his head, he begged for Alphonse to stop, but he just kept going...

"Which is crazy, you know, because he would have only been one. You can't remember stuff that far back, it's just not supposed to be possible…but he thinks he can. Of course, I wouldn't know, considering _I _certainly don't remember it—"

"Shut _up_," Roy whispered, mouth locked in a grimace. He was so close to snapping—but it wasn't _really_ Al's fault. And that was almost the worst part.

The brunette looked startled. "Huh?"

"Shut up!" Roy repeated, louder this time. "Damn it, just—stop talking! I can't handle this shit anymore!"

"Roy?"

He clammed up, turning to see Ed in the hallway, looking confused. His anger deflated like the last balloon at a party, with a small, desperate but unheard gasp. "Ed."

The blonde looked so confused, so lost. Still. Too innocent. "What's wrong, Roy?"

As much as he wanted to answer Edward's question—the more questions he could answer, the better, the less wrongly naïve the boy looked—Roy just shook his head. "Nothing, Ed. I—I'm just…nothing. I don't want to upset you."

That brought a flash of irritation to Ed's face, and Roy welcomed it. It was a far cry from the passionate anger he used to have, but it was closer than normal. "Don't treat me like a kid," he insisted. "I know I don't know—anything, really—but I'm not a child."

"Ed, it's not something you can fix. But it will sound like I'm mad at you, and I'm not, so I'd just as soon not tell you what's wrong."

Even without his memories, the blonde was stubborn. He walked over and plopped on the couch, crossing his arms petulantly. "Tell me!"

As much as the boy insisted that he wasn't a kid, he sure was acting like one. Roy sighed, glanced at the silent Alphonse. "I just can't stand it. I know it's not your fault, but—the way you'll remember something impossible, like Al being born. But you still don't really remember me."

Edward turned his head away, looking guilty. "I can't help it."

"I know. But it still hurts, knowing you can at least vaguely remember him as your brother and still have no idea who I am."

"I was thinking about that recently, you know," Al whispered, almost apologetic. "Think about it; though Brother lost his memories, he still knew all the things he had been taught—how to walk and talk. I think that some memories are just too deeply rooted in his mind for Truth to have gotten to them. And since I've been with him since he was one…I think I'm included there."

Roy laughed humorlessly, even as he nodded along. It made sense. It just wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Roy?" Ed asked. The old Ed never asked—he demanded. "I might remember those things, but…it still feels strange to call Alphonse my brother. I can only remember really early stuff like that, before he could even talk. I don't really remember bonding with him in any way, so…it's not like I know him again, and not you."

That brought Roy up short. That also made sense; after all, the times that the blonde was remembering weren't really moments the boys shared, just moments that _happened_. He paused, then finally muttered, "I'm sorry. I know, I'm kind of being a dick about this."

"It's okay, Roy," Al responded, laying a hand on his arm. "I get it."

Meanwhile, Edward regarded him with an unreadable stare. That was a new one; he'd been like an open book since losing his memories. "Al, do you mind leaving us alone?" he asked.

If Alphonse was surprised, he didn't show it, merely nodding and walking to the back of the apartment. Ed patted the seat next to him, prompting Roy to sit down.

"Roy, I'm sorry. I really am. I can't imagine how weird it would be to really _know_ someone and have them not know about you, too. But I can't fix that."

"I know, Ed," Roy whispered, working to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

The blonde continued, "Still, even if I can't fix what's already happened, I can change what happens in the future. You…love me. Even the way I am?"

Roy was shocked that the last bit formed a question. Hadn't that been obvious? "Of course," he answered. "I'm not going to lie, sometimes you'll do something and I'll miss the old Ed, but I still love you."

Nodding, the boy fell silent, seeming to struggle for words. "I…I _want_ to love you again," he finally declared. "I don't remember anything, but—I like you a _lot_. You're beautiful, and loyal, and I want to have what you say we used to have."

Roy couldn't help it—he laughed. "What's so funny?" Ed asked, indignant.

"You," he answered, somewhat breathless. "You used to be so touchy about saying stuff like that, always blushing—but now you say it with a straight face."

Edward grinned. "Yeah, well. Just one of those things." His face grew serious again. "But really. I understand the old me loving you. I think I could do it again. I want to…so…can we try?"

It wasn't Roy's first choice of events. He still pined for his lost version of the blonde, but honestly, he had to admit at some point that that Ed wasn't coming back. And he did love this version, in a way; he just had to let it happen. Decided, Roy opened his arms, smiling lightly as Edward eased his way into the embrace. Once the boy was there, Roy held him tight—he couldn't let go.

"Of course we can try again, Ed. I wouldn't have it any other way."

**Sorry for taking so long to update guys, a (thankfully minor) illness kept me away from the computer ;A;**

**Hope you like Memory part two~ **


	13. Author's Note

**Hey guys! I hate to say this, but I'm ending this series here. I thought about squeezing out one more part to Memory...but it would have been dark. And I've taken you to enough dark places with this series already, so I'm going to leave it at that.**

**Hopefully you all enjoyed Ed losing his senses~ As always, thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved, and followed, means a lot :)**

**I am currently working on a marriage fic and a...weird fic (no other way to describe it), so if you want more you can check those out~**


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